


Looking Glass

by blakefancier



Series: Parent Howard series [5]
Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2017-11-03 10:39:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it comes to feelings, Howard's a little slow on the uptake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking Glass

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing about three different stories right now. Eventually, one of them is going to get done and I can get back to "Blot Out the Sun."

Maria had always refused to go up in Da Vinci with him, and frankly, that had always offended Howard a little (a lot). He fell in love with flying at the age of eight, when he and his father had gone on a short trip in a 1977 Cessna 404 Titan II. From that point on, he had lived and breathed aviation. He had gotten his pilot's license at fifteen and would have spent all his time flying if he could have—it was one of the few things he loved more than engineering. 

Tony was five the first time Howard took him flying. Unlike Maria, Tony asked, begged, and cajoled Howard for three months to go up before Howard said yes. Howard could be honest with himself, it was pure pettiness that made him deny Tony. Fatherhood had touched almost every aspect of his life, had taken it over like a disease, and he wanted this one thing for himself. Just one. 

But in the end, he gave in, and he was glad he did. It was all Tony would talk about for weeks and it warmed Howard a little to see how excited Tony was. 

It was a bright summer's day when they went out to the airstrip. The sky was clear and blue and heat bounced off the tarmac in a shimmer. Tony skipped towards the plane, his sticky, sweaty hand clasped in Howard's.

"Can I see the engine, Daddy?" Tony asked.

Howard couldn't help but smile. "Maybe next time." He hadn't gone up in months, and he could feel the anticipation racing through his veins, leaving him almost giddy. He did the visual check, gaze traveling over its sleek lines.

"Pretty," Tony said appreciatively and Howard laughed and tousled his hair.

"Yes. Are you ready to go inside?" 

Tony nodded enthusiastically and Howard helped him in. He deflated a bit when he saw the booster seat. He gave Howard a pleading look.

"Sorry, pal, that's one of your mom's rules. Besides, it'll help you see over the instrument panel." Howard sat in the pilot's chair and gestured Tony over. Tony climbed into his lap, a warm, comfortable weight, and Howard explained the instrumentation to him. 

With a fierce look of concentration, Tony repeated what Howard said, as if trying to fix the information into his mind. Howard fought the urge to laugh, and instead, hugged Tony.

"Don't worry, pal. There's not going to be a test later on." 

Tony looked up at him, a little frown on his face. "I wanna remember *everything.*" 

God, hadn't Howard felt the same way that first time. "Alright," he said. "Let me know if you need me to repeat anything."

"I'm good." Tony grinned and gave him a thumbs up. 

Howard laughed. "Let's get this show started." He strapped Tony into his booster seat, got himself buckled in, then went through the systems checks. He kept up a running monologue, for Tony's sake; he didn't want the kid to get bored. 

When he got the okay from the closest Tower to head on up, he looked over at Tony, grinned, and said, "Hold on to your hat."

"I don’t have a hat," Tony replied, but he wasn't really paying attention because they were lifting off.

He could feel the months of stress and anger melt as the ground fell away. And, dammit, he was free, free of everything but the blue sky. He would stay like this forever if he could, up in the air where no one could touch him. He glanced over at Tony, who was way too quiet, and blinked.

Tony was beaming so hard that Howard thought his cheeks had to hurt a bit. His eyes shone bright and he said 'daddy' and there was such *joy* in his tone that Howard's chest tightened.

And it hit him like a punch in the gut that fuck, he loved Tony. Not in some distant, academic way, going through the motions because that's what fathers did. He loved Tony, he would die for Tony, kill for Tony. And he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that if he could go back and do things differently, if he could go back and convince Maria not to have Tony, he wouldn't, because he couldn't imagine his life without this brilliant, beautiful little boy.

"When you're old enough," he said, his voice rough, "I'll teach you how to fly. If you want."

Tony's eyes lit up with excitement. "When I'm six?"

Howard laughed and blinked rapidly. "When you're eight."

Tony gave a little moue of exasperation and sighed. "Alright." 

"In the meantime, I'll see what I can do about building a flight simulator."

"Can I help? *Please?*" 

"Sure," he said. "Why not." 

Tony let out a whoop of excitement. "Can we go upside down? I won't tell Mom!" 

"This isn't that kind of plane. Tell you what though, on the way home, you can sit on my lap and help me drive." 

"Okay!" Tony drummed his feet against the seat in excitement.

Howard laughed and flew higher, looking for clouds for Tony to investigate.


End file.
